Co-Dependency

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Relationship Addiction - Co-Dependency

Co-dependency and relationship addiction are terms which are well known, but not many know what the terms mean, or the devastation this compulsive behaviour can cause. Co-dependency is a relationship addiction: an addiction to people or a person. Co-dependency is usually seen in relationships where one or both members is addicted to some form of self-destructive behaviour. Some say that co-dependency is the natural reaction of any person in a close relationship with a using addict.

Relationship addiction is an incredibly intrusive problem which sees individuals staying in abusive and extremely unhealthy relationships as they simply cannot leave the partnership, whether it is a husband and wife, mother and son or brother and sister relationship. Co-dependents have an extremely low self-worth and no sense of self, seemingly becoming "one" with the other dependant in the relationship. Co-dependency is responsible for ruining many relationships and requires an enormous amount of effort in managing the addiction.

Most co-dependants have no idea how unhealthy their behaviour has become and it is only those close to them who can see their actions as problematic. For example, a co-dependent will run around dangerous areas in the middle of the night, looking for their spouse who has disappeared for a few hours and the co-dependent feels that they must be using. Even though the co-dependent is placing their own life in direct danger by being in an unsafe area, especially at night, they either see no problem in it, or see the problem but simply cannot help themselves.

The key element in co-dependency counselling and treatment is "letting go" of the source of the dependency. This does not mean that all husbands and wives must get a divorce; it simply means that the co-dependent must cease all controlling dependent behaviours and sometimes cut all contact with the other party if seen as necessary.

A co-dependent needs time to work on their self esteem and their obsessive nature and become accustomed to disallowing external forces such as another person from hijacking their feelings, moods, actions, and ultimately their lives.

If you feel that you are stuck in an abusive and unhealthy relationship and your partner's wellbeing has come at the price of your own wellbeing, Oasis Counselling Centre can help. Read about our programme for help with relationship addiction and co-dependency and contact us if you would like to be admitted or have any questions you would like to ask.